I started high school...
as a confident, kind, and fun girl. I had my crew, and the four of us conquered freshman year together. I felt secure in who I was—but my friends did not. They wanted popularity and started making decisions I didn’t agree with. I stood my ground and told them I wasn’t willing to do certain things to seem cool. Our friendship became a roller coaster. Sometimes they ignored me, but mostly they tried to “fix” me, saying I was “such a drag.” It shattered my confidence. I became desperate, willing to do anything to keep my friends. Loneliness in high school was my ultimate fear.
After a while, my friends told me that, behind my back, they decided to “throw me out” of the group. I was given a new set of rules: I couldn’t speak with them, sit with them at lunch, or hang out with them outside of school. I felt betrayed. It worsened when they began to bully me, spread rumors, and even turn classmates and teachers against me.
My worst nightmare had happened—I was all alone, and people were believing all sorts of lies about me! I felt the urge to lose myself in relationships with boys and superficial things to mask the pain. I wanted to show everyone they couldn’t get the best of me. I was desperate to be accepted.
Thankfully, I realized that if I chose to hook up with boys because of the pain I was in, the effect of those decisions would last far beyond high school. I’d carry them with me all my life. This perspective helped me to persevere through this tough time. I didn’t want it to ruin the life I was just beginning!
Instead, I channeled the pain and loneliness into new opportunities. I courageously made new friends and found genuine, supportive people who allowed me to be myself. I dove into hobbies I’d always loved: photography and cooking. I even turned my photography into a business.
I became grateful I was no longer with my old friends. I learned that friends who tear you down aren’t real friends. To my surprise, the loneliness I was terrified of opened unexpected doors. I also learned how resilient, brave, and strong I was through that experience, and it made me a more confident woman.